The Power of Not Knowing
How Embracing Uncertainty Frees Us from the Traps of Comparison and Self-Doubt
If you’ve been following my journey, you know I’ve been diving deep into personal development and growth. Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the various paths life can take us down and questioning what it means to truly evolve. It’s not about feeling lost; it’s about exploring the possibilities and understanding: How do we navigate our unique journeys toward growth and fulfilment?
It’s a question that lingers in the back of my mind, especially in a world filled with expectations. I often think, I should have a clearer direction for my life. Or, I should be taking more concrete steps toward my goals. There’s a sense that I should have figured out what truly fulfils me by now. These “shoulds” pile up, leaving us feeling trapped in a spiral of self-doubt, weighed down by the nagging belief that we’re behind. But what if not knowing was part of the process rather than a problem?
The Role of Uncertainty in Comparison
When we compare ourselves to others—whether it's friends getting promoted, people starting families, or influencers sharing curated snapshots of their “perfect” lives—it's easy to feel like we’re falling short. We assume that they’ve figured it out, that they know exactly what they’re doing, and that their paths are clear. Meanwhile, we’re stuck, paralyzed by our lack of clarity, as if we’re missing some secret everyone else knows.
But here’s the thing: most people don’t have it all figured out. Many are just as uncertain as we are, they’re just better at masking it. The difference? They may have embraced that not knowing is part of life. And, they’ve stopped fighting it.
I’ve learned that the gap between where we are and where we think we should be is often widened by our obsession with comparison. When we embrace the fact that not knowing is natural, that it’s okay to feel lost or unsure, we start to chip away at the constant urge to compare. After all, why compare journeys when no one is walking the same path?
How Not Knowing Can Quiet Self-Doubt
Self-doubt thrives in uncertainty, but it also feeds off the pressure to know. We think we’re supposed to have all the answers, that any delay in figuring out our next steps means we’re failing. The truth is, not knowing doesn’t equate to failure. It simply means we’re in the midst of discovering.
When I reflect on my own experiences, I realize that many of my bouts of self-doubt have come from trying to rush the process of knowing. I wanted clarity right now. I wanted to know exactly where I was headed and what I was doing, as if that would magically solve my internal struggles. But I’ve started to see that clarity rarely arrives when we demand it. It shows up in moments of reflection, patience, and—ironically—when we allow ourselves to sit in the discomfort of not knowing.
The shift happens when we stop viewing uncertainty as a roadblock and start seeing it as an opportunity. Maybe I don’t have all the answers today, and maybe that’s okay. Maybe that space of not knowing is where I can explore, experiment, and learn about what actually matters to me, rather than what I think I should be doing.
The Connection Between Not Knowing and Growth
I’ve noticed that the periods of greatest growth in my life weren’t marked by certainty. They were marked by confusion, by moments where I felt lost, unsure of my next steps. Yet, it was in those moments that I discovered the most about myself. I figured out what I didn’t want, what didn’t work for me, and sometimes, that clarity was more valuable than having a predetermined plan.
We often assume that knowing equals progress. But what if not knowing is progress too? What if the uncertainty we’re feeling right now is laying the foundation for something we can’t even see yet? In embracing the unknown, we give ourselves permission to grow, to make mistakes, and to figure things out along the way.
Not Knowing: A Way Out of Feeling Behind
We’ve all felt like we’re “falling behind” at some point. But behind who? Behind what? The more I think about it, the more I realize that this feeling is often driven by external timelines that don’t align with our personal paths. The idea that we should have everything figured out by a certain age, or that success looks the same for everyone, is a false narrative that leaves us trapped in a cycle of feeling inadequate.
Not knowing, when embraced, is liberating. It allows us to step off the treadmill of societal expectations and find our own rhythm. It’s about learning to trust that even if we don’t know the destination, we’re still moving forward in a way that’s meaningful to us. The key is to stop measuring ourselves against other people’s timelines and start focusing on what feels right for us.
How to Sit with the Unknown
Sitting with uncertainty isn’t easy. It can be uncomfortable, and it often requires us to unlearn years of conditioning that tells us we need to have all the answers. But it’s also where the magic happens. It’s where we start to tune into our inner voice, the one that’s been drowned out by external pressures.
So how do we start? Here are a few practices that have helped me:
Give yourself permission to not know. It’s okay to not have all the answers, and it’s okay to feel lost. The pressure to always know can stifle creativity and self-discovery.
Take small steps. Instead of waiting for the perfect plan to emerge, take small actions in the direction of what feels good or interesting to you. Clarity often comes through doing.
Reflect without judgment. Regularly check in with yourself and ask, “What am I learning in this phase?” or “What am I discovering about myself?” This shifts the focus from needing to know to simply being open to discovery.
Let go of comparison. Recognize that no one has the same journey, and trying to fit yourself into someone else’s timeline will only lead to frustration.
Finding Peace in Not Knowing
We live in a world that glorifies certainty, plans, and knowing exactly where we’re headed. But life doesn’t always work that way, and I’m learning to be okay with that. Not knowing isn’t a sign of failure; it’s an invitation to grow, to explore, and to find what truly matters to us. When we embrace the unknown, we release ourselves from the weight of comparison and self-doubt and step into a space where real, meaningful progress can unfold—slowly, naturally, and on our own terms.
In the end, maybe it’s not about knowing if we’re there yet, but about trusting that we’re on the right path—wherever it may lead.
Happy Exploring.
Liv
Thanks for reading Am I There Yet?! I’m still figuring things out, but hey, aren’t we all? This post is free. Please share with friends who may be interested.
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